2/07/2011

TOTALLY CLICHE ANTI-VALENTINE'S DAY ISSUE - FEBRUARY 2011

LETTER FROM THE EDITOR
I tend to do everything sort of backwards so I thought it would be nice to do the opposite of Valentine's Day for those that are sooo very over it this year.
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WEBSITE OF THE MONTH

mnmlist.com
This might seem like a strange choice for this months theme.  You were probably expecting something like Single Mom's Unite dot Com or something but this is better.  Just when you are preparing to divide your household and possibly move, possibly to much smaller digs, it might help to consider the ideas of minimalism and simplicity. 

This site is a plain white sea of ideas for cutting the things out of your life that you don't need anymore.  It offers some perspective on letting go of the things you don't really need and just let him/her have it (if it's so damn important).  It makes the split easier on you and the kids and makes it a learning and growing experience instead of only being a painful one.  www.mnmlist.com
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BOOK OF THE MONTH

ASK ME ABOUT MY DIVORCE:WOMEN OPEN UP ABOUT MOVING ON (Seal Press)
Ask Me About My Divorce (Seal Press), edited by Candace Walsh, is a collection of essays about women dealing with their divorces, getting their lives back on track, moving on and everything else you have to figure out after you split up.  Every person goes through their divorce differently, some are depressed, some angry and some are happy...but it still helps to read other people's feelings and takes on the subject.
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PRODUCT OF THE MONTH

SAFELINK
For those of you that might find yourselves without income for the first time in a while, and subsequently without a cellphone with which to keep up with the kids or keep others updated with your move, etc, there is help.  At http://www.safelink.com/ you can apply to recieve a cell phone and around 60 free minutes a month (according to location).  You have to demonstrate financial need but don't specifically have to be recieving public assistance (also according to location).  It is a pared-down Tracfone with a voicemail account and texting.  Since it is a Tracfonw, you can add minutes to the phone whenever you can/want and still recieve your free hour every month. 
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BEAUTY

Get a haircut...no big story here, just take the $30 bucks and a picture from a magazine, roll up to cheap salon chain and get a haircut.  Nothing will make you feel any better or more beatiful then a new haircut.  Go ahead get that haircut you had shown interest in but your ex always made that face at.  If it's super complicated make sure you go to someone you trust, or if you are the type that needs to, spend the extra money on a high end salon.  No matter how you slice it, walking into a new life with new hair is the best way to get there!
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FASHION

I will admit that I don't really have much to say about fashion this month.  You are probably short on funds so I don't want to advise you to go buy a whole new wardrobe to boost your spirits.  If you've been out of the workforce for a while or you need to find a better paying position now, I will say that maybe investing in a suit would be a great idea.  Don't spend a bunch on it though, check out the Gap/Old Navy/Banana Republic online or even Target and Walmart online and find something VERY basic that you can use together for the interveiw and seperatly once you have the positon.
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DIY CRAFTY PROJECT

CRAFT AS THERAPY
Try using crafting as therapy, or a means to supplimental income.  Look over the crafty skills you have.  Is there anything you know how to do that you can sell online, in a consignment shop or at craft fairs for a little extra income on the side?  If so, give it a try, maybe you'll only make enough to cover the supplies it took to make the items, maybe you'll make enough to buy school shoes...it can't hurt.  A bonus to crafting, even if you don't ever try to sell a thing, is the theraputic aspect to it.  A lot of crafts are very calming and soothing, like knitting and embroidering.  Then there is the confidence you build as you get better at this skill and begin to complete projects you have set out for yourself.  Go for it, learn a new skill or practice an old one.
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GOING GREEN ONE MONTH AT A TIME
MONTH TWO - FEBRUARY
Switch up your cups.  Even in the winter you need water, and I bet you drink coffee or soda or something else too.  Upgrade your drink containers.  Instead of bottled water in individual containers buy a really nice water bottle that will last you for years like a metal or PVC free plastic one.  Upgrade your coffee mug too instead of using those cups from the coffee shop, bring your own.  Often times coffee shops will give you a minor discount for bringing your own mug (only like 10 or 25 cents, but that adds up - 10 cents off one cup, 5 days a week equals $26.00 a year)
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Aladdin eCycle Coffee Mug
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Sigg Classic Traveler Water Bottle (both avail. at http://www.reusablebags.com/ )
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MENU PLANNER

EASY MEALS FOR THE EXHAUSTED
Sometimes trying to cook a dinner when you are emotionally and physically spent, not to mention short on funds, can be extremely daunting.  It is okay to sometimes say "fuck it" and just make a prepared dinner.  Everyone that has ever been there in the world grants you cooking asylum.  Microwave or toss in a pot and boil without guilt.  Are you and your kids fed?  Are you still alive?  See, it'll be okay.

Some good quick meals with virtually no prep time:
1. T.V. Dinner family portions like turkey, lasagna or salisbury steak
2. Bird's Eye Steam Fresh meals in a bag
3. Hamburger and Tuna Helper - don't forget the old school fallbacks
4. Boca Burgers and Tater Tots
5. Chicken Nuggets
(Don't forget, there are organic, vegetarian and vegan companies out there making pre-prepared meals too so you can eat quick with even less of the guilt)
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FEATURES

TIME FOR YOURSELF: 4 THINGS YOU CAN DO FOR YOURSELF!
When you find yourself having no back up for childcare like you're used to (even if it was rare before) it can be almost utterly impossible to do anything for yourself.  Even trying to do your hair in the morning becomes a fete akin to mountain climbing.  Here a few things you really can squeeze in here and there to make yourself feel a little better and a little cared for.

1. Listen to a Book-on-Tape.
    Okay, nobody uses tapes anymore but you get what I mean.  Download a book on your iPod or Blackberry.  Buy a CD or borrow one from the library (or a friend).  You can find time to listen on the drive to work or the grocery store, when the kids go down for a nap, while folding laundry or before you go to bed at night.

2. Get a facial.
    No, not at a spa or even an at-home deal that would take an hour.  Next time you're at the drug store, pick up one of those instant facial kits or creams they're hawking on t.v. all the time.  After 14 days you should be seeing a whole new you.  Well not a whole new you, but at least a shinier, newer version.

3. Unfriend.
    If you are the social networky type...unfriend him/her, their family and all their friends.  This way you can continue your normal virtual life without having to read any of their little comments or updates or having them read your information.  Relieve the headaches and everything that goes with your exes best friend reading your page.  It will also help to keep you from checking their pages and getting pissed off at their random comments or headlines.

4.  Wear that item he/she always hated but you love.
     You know that shirt or jeans he/she always rolled their eyes at when you put it on?  Go put it on and wear the crap out of it.  If he/she always hated that green eyeliner, get to applying.  For me, it was my red flip-flops from Old Navy.  He always said they reminded him of back-alley Bangkok hookers, so you know what...I'm wearing them right now!

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